Her Birth Story

I started a journal a short while after we heard the devastating news on July 14th. After Faith was born, I wrote the details of her delivery, and have decided to share it here.

---
We met Faith Christina yesterday. She was born at 2:10 PM and was 16 ounces and about 12 inches long. She was absolutely perfect, a beautiful angel.

We were admitted at 8PM on July 21, 2010 to delivery room number 14. (Labor and Delivery department at Evanston Hospital) The process used to start the labor was Cytotec inserted up against the cervix. Our first dose was given at about 9:30 PM. Within a half an hour of the first dose I started getting menstrual cramps. This is really when it all set in that this was it for us and were were really going to have to say goodbye.

The menstrual cramps lasted for several hours. I was told that the medication would be inserted every 4 hours until I progressed enough to deliver. Another dose was inserted at 1:30 in the morning. This time I woke up at 3:30 with contractions. They lasted about 20-30 seconds and were happening every minute. They weren't ery strong but I couldn't sleep so with reluctance, I decided to take an intravenous pain medication, just so I could rest, as this was going to be a long hard day.

I had to try several doses of this medication for it to work. As I said I was reluctant, i didn't want to be drugged when we had our baby, so they first gave me a dose of 0.25 which did nothing, then they upped it to 0.5. Neither of these doses worked. But I just decided to deal with the pain as it wasn't that bad.

At 5:30 in the morning another dose of Cytotec was inserted. This immediately caused pretty intense contractions. I was trying to watch the clock, but there was only a 10 second break in between each contraction, and they were pretty intense. I could not relax, in any way, as they were so strong and coming so frequently. Looking back, this was a point in which I should have opted for an epidural, but I could not have known as I had never been through labor before. My reluctance for medication deminished as the contractions just kept getting stronger. I recieved 2ml of the same medication given earlier. This medication kicked in really quickly, and made the pain much more manageable, but I could still feel the contractions.

This dose was given at 6:30 in the morning and I layed still for another 2 hours. Just focusing on breathing and relaxing, I couldn't sleep. By 8:30 I was starting to feel the contractions pretty intensly again, my new nurse administered another 2 ml of medication. Things were managable as is, but they gave me another dose of Cytotec at 9:30.

This dose took effect so quickly and the contractions came so fast and were so intense I could hardly speak. It didn't feel like there was any time in between the peaks. I finally requested an epidural. the time i requested it until i recieved it felt like an eternity. I don't remember a lot about when they were giving me the epidural, just that the contractions were so bad. I never felt anything they were doing when inserting the catheter.

The epidural kicked in around 10:30 and they I then wondered why I didn't get it sooner. It was nice to watch the contractions on the monitor and not feel anything at all. I then noticed that my contractions never went down to 0, I was constantly contracting.

It was this time, when I was watching the monitor and finally able to relax, that I felt really ready to meet our child.

I laid in bed about an hour and felt a pop, our water had just broke, but I thought I had an accident in the bed. The nurse confirmed that it was my water, even though there really was very little fluid present. I wasn't due to be checked by the doctors again until 1:30.

Around 1 a perinatal counselor came in to speak with us, so see how we were doing, and give us some material to read and contacts in case we needed it. I started to feel something strange going on, but it wasn't the "pressure" that they kept asking me if I was feeling, so they didn't check me.

My husband and I sat and waited and at about 2:05 2 residents came in the room to place another dose of medication, however, Faith was already making her way into this world.

She was officially born at 2:10 PM. My husband cut her cord and announced the gender. He looked so proud, and never took his eyes off of her. They placed Faith across my chest and I was not sad, nor afraid, but joyful to meet our precious angel.

We spent four wonderful hours with her. We have so many pictures and memories to last a lifetime. Holding her felt so right, there is no place else I was meant to be. She filled our hearts with so much love and is greatly missed.

Faith had passed before she ever made it into our arms, but I know she knew how much we loved her.

She looked a lot like both of us. She had her daddy's ears, eyes and adorable nose. It was the most precious little nose, and i couldn't stop touching it. She had my lips, jaw and chin. Her mouth was perched open so sweetly, perfect for kisses. She was truely peaceful.

We filled our time with her with plenty of kisses and so much love.

It hasn't been a day and I miss her so much. I want nothing more than to hold her again, or have her be in my belly.

I will always remember the softness in her skin, especially those cheeks. She is our little angel who we will be with again, someday.

I can't wait for her remains to be home, with us where she belongs! Her spirit will be with us on all of our journeys. I love you my sweet baby Faith.

-----