Looking Back, Looking Forward

Looking back on the year, I can't believe the journey we've been on. The end of January we were starting to seek help for infertility. In February we were blessed with an unassisted pregnancy. This was our last attempt before starting a drug regimen to assist us in conceiving.

Things were really looking up for us after our run of bad luck. Up until July our year remained pretty uneventful. Early July we were still starting to think through the details of our baby shower, and were finally ready to bring the crib home to start setting up Faith's room. I hadn't purchased anything for Faith yet, after loosing our first, I was just scared to bring anything home.

We only have one baby gift here at home for Faith. A tiny little outfit with a baby elephant on the shirt. My friend had no idea that there is a very special, very private story associated with a baby elephant and my family, which made the outfit quite perfect for our little peanut. This little outfit is the only item in our home which was meant for our baby girl we never got to bring home. Waiting to buy gifts seemed logical at the time, but it definitely didn't change what was meant to be.

Next week we have our consultation with a genetic counselor at Reproductive Genetics Institute (RGI). We are very excited to have this facility in the Chicago area as people travel from all over the world to use RGI for whatever genetic assistance they need. The founder of this institute helped develop the PGD process, so we are hopeful and thrilled that they are able to help us. We are not sure exactly when we are going to proceed with IVF, but there are many setup/screening activities that need to be completed first, and we want to get these all finished as soon as possible.

Firstly a PGD testing setup needs to be completed for our family this process takes 4-6 weeks. In order to set this up they need to use the remaining bit of Faith's DNA. If there isn't enough of her DNA, our families, either parents or siblings will be asked to donate some DNA, via a cheek swab.

There are also a lot of IVF pre-labs, which will take 4-8 weeks. I'm not sure what this consists of, but imagine they want to ensure I'm capable of undergoing the IVF process with regards to egg production, hormones etc.

All of this is so very overwhelming to us, and I still get saddened by the fact that we can't make a baby the old fashioned way. While I still get sad and frustrated about the challenges we face, I'm thankful to have been given this option. If we are fortunate enough to have a successful IVF cycle, our baby will be a creation of our love and determination, and I will not for a second hesitate to buy gifts for the baby because so very much is out of my control.