Disposition

In order to enter an IVF cycle, we had to complete many consent forms. These forms are required prior to receiving all the medicine needed for the cycle.

The last form needed in our file was titled: Consent to Cryopreserve Embryos and Decisions as to Future Disposition. This form decides the fate of any of our left over normal embryo's not transferred.

Question 1: How long should they be cryopreserved: 1, 2, 3, 4 or 5 years?

That's an easy one. As long as we can, so we chose 5 years. We have always wanted a large family, and if we are lucky to have extra embryo's then we want to make sure we have them long enough to use them.

Question 2: After such time elapses I/We request to:
a. Donate the excess embryos to appropriate recipient
b. Discard the embryos

I had my answer to this question, but this form requires both spouses to respond and of course agree. Christopher and I did not agree. Actually, we didn't immediately agree to majority of the remaining questions. Including in the event of death, and in the event of divorce.

This form weighed so very heavily on my heart. These check boxes are not what I had pictured for our family when we were married 4 years ago. I want all of our babies. I want to care for them all, give all of them a chance to grow and be loved. Unfortunately this is just wishful thinking and is not a choice we can make.

Ultimately we came to full agreement, but even today my heart is still heavy. Through all of this I am left to wonder what it must feel like to innocently enter into the joys of motherhood.